Liveblogging: Memorial Day/The Big Bang Theory

25 May

My feet hurt. Why? Because I ran around my back yard like a child for like two hours. Did I amaze all those watching with my unmatched athletic prowess? Well, sure.  We threw around a frisbee, a football, and a Civic.

I then wrestled in the pool with my brother in our pool. The ensuing thrashing caused a ripple effect that moved out from us, throwing water up high into the atmosphere. I’d like to apologize for the severe weather soon to come. OOPS!

I’m watching the Big Bang Theory in my living room. There’s a gorgeous girl that lives across the hall from some nerds (Sheldon and Leonard). It’s like how Wes lives across the hall from me and Derek. Wes is so gorgeous and he gets along so well with Derek, but he’s ultimately oblivious to Derek’s romantic feelings for him.

This guy (Sheldon) from the Big Bang Theory is wanting to make friends. He’s at a book store to get a book on how to make friends. The clerk told him that the only “making friends” books were in the children’s section. So now, he’s making friends with this little girl sitting by a train set. This is so creepy. I’m not comfortable with this. Thank god the guy from Rosanne is here to drag him away. Take him. Good Christ. The creepy guy’s name is Sheldon. Doesn’t that make it worse?

My hero. Remember him from Roseanne? He was cool, then. Now he looks kind of like a safer, less drug-addle Joaquin Phoenix. It looks like Joaquin layed an egg and this man came out. Good god, Joaquin Phoenix has attained sentience. Hes now reproducing at will.

My hero. Remember him from Roseanne? He was cool, then. Now he looks kind of like a safer, less drug-addled Joaquin Phoenix. It looks like Joaquin layed an egg and this man came out. Good god, Joaquin Phoenix has attained sentience. He's now reproducing at will.

Kroger Commercial. HEY I SHOP THERE! IT’S LIKE I’M FAMOUS OR SOMETHING!

$2,000 cash back on a new Camry. LOVE IT. I love $2,000 dollars.

Ok, it’s back on. They’re talking about Lysine. Idiots. Sheldon thinks there’s an algorithm for making friends. I think…by making an algorithm for making friends, he’s inadvertently created the perfect method for never making friends ever ever ever. Is an algorithm the same thing as a flow chart? Because what I see here is a flow chart on a dry erase board. One of you look up algorithm and tell me what it is.

Sweet. Sheldon is going rock climbing with this guy who he wants to be friends with. Ok, the thing is, he wants to use this guy’s super computer to do some research, and the guy only lets his friends use the computer. The irony in this is, although the other guy is painted as an ass hole, Sheldon is the one trying to use someone.

Son of a bitch.

Son of a bitch.

They’re back at the apartment. Sheldon brought Gary (guy with the computer) back. They’re…good god. Now Sheldon is saying he can’t handle five friendships. He’s firing one friend. This guy is kind of an ass hole. OHHHHHHH OK! He just fired Raj. Hm. The only minority in a lily white sea of plastic rimmed glasses and colorful sweaters. Ok, wait; what first seemed like a decision based on race seems to be based on much more. When Sheldon gave Raj a friendship questionaire, Raj said he thought Sheldon’s favorite sugar was Glutamine. It’s actually Lysine. Who…b…

Now we’ve found out, there is actually no favoritism on the part of Gary. He follows a strict schedule. So our “hero” Sheldon is a honest to god, real-life, bastard. He just took away Gary’s Chinese food and gave it to Raj. If I was Raj, I’d take that Chinese food and…oops, no time for punch line, commercials.

Stupid Verizon commercial with the guy with the sprinkles in the ice cream shop. I hate this man. If I was that clerk, I would kill that son of a–DAMN IT NEW COMMERCIAL

Ashley furniture, no interest til 2013. It’ll be way past 2013 when I become interested in buying a $800 couch.

It’s over.

Bye.

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3 Responses to “Liveblogging: Memorial Day/The Big Bang Theory”

  1. jadorejeremy May 25, 2009 at 11:56 pm #

    Nice play by play of the big bang.

    Sheldon passing out while rock climbing is classic.

    Yes, I just admitted to liking that show.
    Something about nerds. . .

  2. Kyle Irion May 26, 2009 at 5:10 pm #

    BUENOOOOOOO

  3. cheesewagon May 27, 2009 at 10:27 pm #

    Sheldon in that picture: “What, me worry?”

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