My “Drafts” Folder.

24 Jun

Welcome back.

You ever sit and think to yourself “Where does Kyle get his ideas for his blog?”? That’s weird. Don’t think about me. I can feel it when you’re thinking about me.

When I want to write a new post, I usually sit down and start typing, allowing the funniez to just come right out. My brain sticks it’s mental fingers down it’s mental throat and vomits all over the page (through my fingers–my real ones.). Sometimes, I have an idea set in place before I sit down– i.e., Kyle 2030, and the Swine Flu Saga.

Today, though, I thought I’d go back and try to work on what WordPress labels my “Drafts.” These are posts that I’ve started working on, but haven’t published. Every now and then I’ll just type in an idea and save as a draft so I can remember it for later.  I’m going to do a quick rundown of all the Drafts in my Draft box (where I keep my Drafts.)

My “Drafts” Folder.

How ironic. The draft I’m working on right now is in my draft box. This is causing a breakdown in the space time continuum. It’s also making me a little gassy. Let’s move on.

I Got Nothin’

I wrote this one roughly three weeks ago. It actually was the mama bear of the “Writer’s Block” entry. Here are some excerpts:

“So…where to begin. Ok, well. I think that…”

“I played softball the other day.”

What poetry.

I’m Watching Wesley

I was watching Wesley. There are no excerpts because I pretty much just wrote the title and closed out of the internet forever.

My Easter Sunday

This was the loser in the competition between my two ideas for an Easter post. I was going to do a narrative of my Easter with my family at my Grandmother’s home. Here are some excerpts:

“Terrified, I looked down at my hands. They were covered in blood. Quickly I took the bandana and threw it in the lake. I was ready to see again. Running up the bank I slipped and cut my hand. I curse quietly to myself and continue moving. There’s no time now.

The yard was quiet, but not serene. It felt as if the sound that should be there had been stolen, and everyone knew it. I hate pinatas. I hate them.”

Happy Easter!

Vegan Vegetarian

OK, so one day, May 4th to be exact, I was talking to Katie McCann on the facebook chat, or as I like to call it “So and so is no longer online, oh wait, yea they are. Damn it, they got off again.” She mentioned that she didn’t eat beef. I accused her of being a vegetarian (or as my old man calls ’em, “Communists.”). Quickly, I bring up WordPress and type in the words “Vegan Vegetarian,” because I wanted to do a piece on where all that mularkey came from, or maybe do a narrative on me experimenting with the lifestyle to better understand it. I chose the latter, and here’s an excerpt:

“I don’t feel like a man anymore. I hope Burt Reynolds doesn’t find out. Oh, God in heaven, I hope he never finds out.”

Hm. Maybe I should finish that one.

Iran Kyle

This is a SPECIAL SNEAK PREVIEW of an entry I’m working on right now. Sometimes my entries require research, and I’ve found that this one requires a lot of it. Here’s a little sneak preview excerpt. It might get edited out, but who gives a shit, right? You’ll love it anyway. Here it goes:

“The Supreme Leader of Iran is the most powerful post in the nation. According to WordPress stats, “Short Story I” is the most powerful post in my nation, with 60 views.

The government of Iran is set up a lot like if someone made a big list of all the different types of governments in the world, cut them up into little squares, put them in a hat, and pulled out a couple to use for the Iranian constitution.”

That’s offensive. You won’t see that in the post.

——

Well, that’s all I got as far as Drafts go. I feel like I’ve gotten some closure, and I hope you have too. I can now clean out my Drafts Box, essentially flushing my internet toilet.

Comb your hair, brush your teeth, buckle your seat belt, and eat your vegetables. Kyle loves you. Bye bye.

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2 Responses to “My “Drafts” Folder.”

  1. Katie L. McCann June 24, 2009 at 11:10 pm #

    i got mentioned in kyle irions blog! SHIT JUST GOT AWESOME!

  2. talias June 25, 2009 at 2:30 am #

    i wanna read more about this kyle iranion draft. make it happen

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