Paper Darts Fan Fiction II: “Corny” and “Dog”

2 Dec

It’s the second month of Paper Darts’s Flash Fiction contest. The two words that must be used this month are “corny” and “dog.” They don’t have to be used in any specific order, but you gotta use ’em. You just gotta. Here’s my submission below. If you love me, take like two minutes, got to the Paper Darts Facebook page and “like” my entry. Here’s a handy link! LINK!

——

This Thanskgiving, my grandfather attempted to prove to me that his lawn mower was amphibious by driving it into a lake. The mower wasn’t amphibious, and neither was my grandfather, who sank like a rock immediately after hitting the cold water.

“Jesus, was that gramps?” my brother asked.

I sighed heavily. “Yes, that was …gramps.”

“Should we do something?”

“Save him?” My brother and I stood on the dock for some time weighing this possibility.

“He was kind of a bastard,” my brother said. He was right. Our grandfather was kind of a bastard.

“Here. I’ll jump in, swim around a little bit, then crawl out and look all disheveled. You run to the house and tell everybody that gramps drove into the lake but we couldn’t save him.”

“What about Thanksgiving dinner?” This we also weighed heavily.

“We can just make some corny dogs when we get home,” I say. “I don’t want to eat a big meal surrounded by mourners.”

“Fair enough. Let’s do this.”

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