Tag Archives: up and away

Kyle at the Movies

20 Jun

Welcome back. *thunderous applause

I went to the movies the other day. Not this one, no– the other one. Yea, that one.

I went to the movies and saw Away We Go. It was so sweet. Here’s a brief quote from me as I was leaving the theater:

“I have been holding it since 9:30, please excuse me.”

The woman who was my date had this to say:

“I’m not his date. He just sat down next to me and ate my pop corn.”

She was just being coy. We made out later that evening.

Away We Go is about a young couple (played by John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph) in their early 30’s setting out to find a place to live. More importantly than that, though, they’re trying to find out their identity as a family. Oh yea, I forgot to mention that Maya Rudolph’s character, Verona, is pregnant as hell. John Krasinski’s character, Burt, is bearded as hell. Here’s a shot from the film:

You can also see John Krasinski on NBC's The Office

You can also see John Krasinski on NBC's The Office.

There’s plenty of funny in this movie. The first real gut-buster is when Maya Rudolph finds out she’s pregnant…and guess what? …IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! I remember laughing until there were tears coming out of my eyes at the idea of somebody getting pregnant by accident. That just never happens. I’ll show you why:

Proof.

Proof.

Burt and Verona, upon finding out about the pregnancy, move to the north east in order to be closer to Burt’s family when the baby is born. However, the couple soon finds out that Burt’s parents have decided to move to Belgium a month before the baby is due to be burdened with the terrible and tragically undeserved chore of living. Since the only reason Verona and Burt were living where they were was to be close to Burt’s parents, they see this as an opportunity for them too to pick up stakes and find their own place.

They bounce from Arizona, to Montreal, to Miami, to some other place, and then to Florida, staying with relatives and friends, the vast majority of which are married. Each sad and off-center couple helps to sharpen their vision of what it is they are as a couple and what it is they want to be as a family. They go from super-abrasive 21st-Century family, to New-Wave hippie family, eventually ending up with a lively, foreign couple, that I actually thought was a fairly inappropriate choice for the tone of the film:

You can also see Hitler on CBS's How I Met Your Mother

You can also see Hitler on CBS's How I Met Your Mother

From each family they learn something new. From the first: That you should love your children for who they are. From the second: That Verona’s sister is pretty hot. From the third: That a buttoned-down, flowing white shirt is a one way ticket to douche town. From the fourth: That little Asian girls are cute. From the fifth: That trampolines are an extremely romantic place to spend the night.

I had sex on that.

People had sex on that.

Since the next section deals with the ending, I’ll edit out the important facts. Instead, I’ll fill them in with replacement words, like a Mad Lib.

They end up  returning to Hoth, the childhood home of Conan O’Brien’s character, Spider Man. Here they realize that all they need is boogers and that the greatest gift they can give each other is X-Box.

So there you go. A quality movie evaluation/butchering in under 600 words.

Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: